why can’t we love?

 

We are the people who find love in online applications and bodies. We are the people who believe that love will see the technological advancements. We are the generation that are in love with the idea of love, unaware of the fact, what true love is. We are the generation who have contributed greatly in making love all the more ambiguous.

But, why can’t we love? Why can’t we hold on to “the people”? Why can’t we communicate what floats in our heart but we fear to keep it out? Why can’t we love?

Why do we build walls around our hearts and give up so easily?

Do we really know what love is?

Love is not in posting loved up pictures on the internet. Love is not to show-off what you got. Love is not a lottery that you win out of nowhere. Love is not in gifting each other the most expensive things.

Love, is in little things. Love, is in not saying the three magical words every single day of your life. Love lives in small actions. Love lives when you ask her, if she reached home safely. Love flourishes when you make him feel special and cherished. Love is in writing love notes in an age that believes in “unsaving” texts. Love is not in permanency but in perseverance. Love is in believing.

Our generation can not love anymore because we like everything instant. Instant noodles also take some time to cook, that is what we tend to forget. Love is not instant noodles. Love is a plant that has to be grown with perseverance, belief and care. Our generation can not love anymore because we want everything without putting in efforts. Our generation can not love anymore because we don’t believe in magic anymore. More than loving someone else we have become crippled to such an extent that loving our own selves is the hardest thing to do. And before you confuse self-love, it is not being selfish in a way that you hurt someone. Self love is prioritising yourself in a hurricane events of life.

Why can’t we become more vocal about what we truly feel? Why can’t you go to the person right away whom you love (not particularly in a romantic way) rather than hiding behind the screens? Why can’t you put in a little thought?

Investing a little time in someone won’t get you profits or losses but something more important your most beautiful relationship. And not forgetting the value of not expecting. We as human beings differentiate from each other in a thousand different ways. The way someone reciprocates your love is not the same how you give love to that person.The unpredictability of life could take you from rigs to racks. The unpredictability of life could see you alive today and no more tomorrow. We all are here for a very short span of time and it is to the best, if we really could put forth, what love really is.

Let not the unpredictability of life take away the most beautiful and cherished emotion away from you, love.

 

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strength.

I make this statement to assert something pivotal and of utmost importance to you.

You are not alone here.

There are times when the shades go off. There are times when the world crashes upon you and drops upon you like a thunder. There are days when getting out of the bed is such a mammoth task. There are days when looking yourself in the mirror bolts you up with self hate. Anxiety, depression, self hate, self-criticism, are all such valid feelings. Yes, very valid. And you are not alone in this.

We have believed in Super heroes. We have believed in super heroes wearing capes or even have the super natural powers that helps them fly from one building of Manhattan to another. I, as an individual have idolised super heroes and their movie stints for most of my life. But the real super heroes hide within you and me.

Getting up back at life with a “I got this” attitude when everything around falls apart; getting up and living after a breakup; fighting situations like a bawse; bringing yourself out of your comfort zones, we all have had a share of our loses. We all have had seen the lows. And if you are disillusioned in believing social media, oh darling, no one is posting their failures around here. No one would tell you how their relationship is falling apart but will definitely make it a point to post loved up couple pictures to make you believe that they are so in love. We all have been at the point where we wanted to give up and run away into oblivion. But you become a Super Hero, when you face your lows one on one. You become your strength when you get back up after a blow. Your strength lies not in the fact that you remain quiet. Your strength is not in the fact that you bear the pressures that are put upon you. Your strength is not in hiding the pain that you have endured. Your strength is in your determination. Your strength is in not giving up. Your strength is standing up the eighth time even after falling down for seven times. Your strength is in breaking it out. You are your strength.

Strength is in taking the plunge you thought you never will. Murakami says,”Curiosity widens your growth rings.” When you were a child, your curiosity introduced you to a bundle of new experiences which you thought you will never come across and it could not have been possible without your curiosity. As adults, we tend to lose that curiosity that could take us in a completely different direction. A curiosity to discover ourselves, that could widen the growth rings. Instead, we are living in a stride of disillusion. As an adult, that helps us drive this curiosity is the strength. The curiosity when coupled with strength can lead to new paths and new roads.

Just don’t let the child within you, wither away so soon.

And remember,

you are not alone, the universe is looking out for you.

 

Image Source- Google Images

the fears

When do you win? When do you conquer. Not when you actually achieve what you had always dreamt of. You do not win when you sit back and relish what you just witnessed. You do not win in the moments of rejoice or the fulfillment.

Baby steps.

Parents are happier when their child takes the first steps. A father is proud when he sees his son grown into a mature gentleman when he sees him take the first step. A mother is proud when her daughter makes the first meal and serves the first bite. It is not wrong to say that “our firsts” have been so special to us. Our firsts make upto the favourite of our list. But do you remember cycling by yourself for the first time? Do you remember when you solo travelled for the first time? Do you remember getting that first pay check? Do you remember getting the first meal of the day after a terrific hustle filled day? Do you remember how did your firsts become so special and important to you?

You shred off a bit everytime you hop on to another step. Everytime you get up to do something you have never done, you have a feeling that does not want you to go ahead.

‘What if this is not a right thing to do? What if this is not what I am meant for? What if this sees the end of me? What if this marks the ending of something that has not even started?’

And you know, you win when you, my friend pull these thoughts back. When you conquer your thoughts, you change your world. Believe me when I say, that you are a butterfly. You have grown from a caterpillar to what you are today shredding off the bits of you. The parts that you shred off are the fears that linger upon your chest. The fears that cling onto you. The fears that cripple you.

And oh sweetie, you don’t win when you achieve something.

The real win lies in shredding off your fears. Know how your heart beats when you stand across the cliff and take a look at the breath-taking view. Know how your heart pounces during times you think you might lose something. Don’t give yourself into your fears. It is very important to get rid off the fears that we cultivate upon ourselves. Remember that time when you could not drive the bicycle without extra tyres and your parents support. But you finally did it, and oh so gracefully. You never thought you could sustain on your own, but look at yourself, you have never been this better. You had the guts to remove the toxicity from your life. You had the guts to take the plunge back then. Why not now? Why can’t you get up and say- I got this!

 

It is time to say a goodbye to all your fears that keep you back from being what you really could be. Time to take the plunge, fellas. And don’t forget to celebrate the ‘oh so little win’. Because- it is all in the little things.

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Image Source- Google Images

I need help!

 

Person X- “Hey! It’s been long that we haven’t seen you. How have you been doing?”

Person Y- “I have been great! And I have just been quite busy lately. That’s not really given me time to hang out much.”

*Person Y’s actual inner voice *

“Hey! I need help. Can you hear me out? Lately, I have not been able to sleep. I have a multitude of thoughts that try to kill me almost every day. I am not able to talk what is killing me and what I am going through because it’s quite a task to figure out myself, what THIS IS. I am also afraid that people might judge me and pull me down. And, it’s really hard to survive at times. I really think I need help.”

Trust me, we all have been there. We all have had issues. We all have hidden what we actually feel. We all have kept ourselves from what actually needs to be put forward. We have had moments where we were the casket full of emotions and feelings yet we ended up- conveying nothing. Absolutely nothing! We chose to remain silent. And that’s where we lost it.

It’s quite unfortunate that we dwell in a society which proclaims to be technologically advanced, mechanically supreme but emotionally deprived. Not because, we end up over-utilizing technology or we have lost THE HOMO SAPIENS CONNECT, but, because we have stopped feeling at all. It’s time to throw away your weapons of deflection while you read this, and hear me out. I could have posted this as a Face Book post. People could have liked it, commented and just forget what they read after 30 seconds of swiping. It could have just ended up being a post. And then, the proclamations,”she seems to be going through it herself”.  Trust me, I have been there but I am not there anymore.  I have hidden things that I should have spoken loud enough to be heard. I should have said “NO” when I first felt uneasy. I should have reached to save my relationships. I am apologetic about all of it. But I am not regretful.

And trust me we all have been there, doing the silliest of mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes lead to rounds of laughter and sometimes a trauma that no one wishes to talks about.  A trauma that we hide beneath the covers of this body and fear to share it even with ourselves. If you haven’t been through any such ‘thing’ (as they call it), my friend, you are a lucky person. But if you have, cheers friend, you’ve made through it, through all of it with your poise and determination.

So, I watched a Netflix series- “13 Reasons Why”. The female protagonist, Hannah Baker goes through a hell of events at her high school involving a number of people around her, most of who, disguised themselves as her friends. She was called out and was called ‘things’ (that we are not allowed to talk of, given our values, of course) and it increased to such an extent that she was raped brutally. What did she do? What would you have done if you were Hannah? Nonetheless, I pray you are not! She did suicide. But it wasn’t the series of events that had happened around her that led to her death. A major reason was, that she didn’t have anyone to talk to, to reside her thoughts in. That crippled her. That took life of a beautifully brilliant dame.

*PRECAUTION-This show is not meant for the people currently fighting any mental health crisis, so watch out.*

But this is not what I wish to tell you. I want you to realize that we are in a state of existential crisis related to mental health issues. The situation has never been this grave. A virtually created world with 3000 friends, 5000 followers, 500+ likes on every post, made us all incapable of really talking it out. I am 100% sure that you don’t remember, when you really vomited out your feelings. I am not asking you to be vulnerable in front of ‘people’. It could be a person who loves you. And if you don’t have anyone, why not you! Why can’t you sit in front of the mirror and sing out “All of me” by John Legend, just for yourself? *I do that ALWAYS to get myself up from zoned out conditions. It has ALWAYS worked.*

You could choose your own song though. But, darling, don’t give up so easily! Talk out, fight out. We are all in this together. We have all been there. And, I know how it feels. I have nothing to suffice you because I know how crippling this feeling is. This feeling, where you fight, the worst war of your life – “A War with Your Own Self.” And it is an every moment struggle to pick you up. But I want you to win this war. I want you to get up every time hope dwindles. I want you to know that your perfect imperfections make you unique and make you, YOU. And, currently if you don’t have anyone to love you, just give yourself a hug and say it out loud- “I love you.”

 

 

Image Courtesy- Google Images

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