Gratitude- Thank YOU.

“ਸੁੱਖ ਵੇਲ੍ਹੇ ਸ਼ੁਕਰਾਨਾ

ਦੁੱਖ  ਵੇਲ੍ਹੇ ਅਰਦਾਸ “

(Be grateful when the times are good and pray to Him when times are hard and testing)

 

Did you breathe today? Did you wake up today (obviously you did)? Did you have a meal, and not just a single meal but maybe the two meals of the day, by the time you scroll down and read this? Did you get to see your loved ones around you today? Did you wear a clean set of clothes? Did you get to see and feel what’s going on around you? Did you get to speak up and express yourself?

If you got to execute, even a single activity out of all these that I mentioned, you did do something brilliant in your life. I know you don’t agree with me, but I promise, by the time you read this, you surely will. Let me tell you about a small encounter with my 10-year-old cousin. So, I witnessed my cousin making beds early in the morning after she got up. I kept on observing her for days and realized that there was a different zeal and enthusiasm while she cleared her bed. It seemed like it was the most important chores for her.  One day, when she was late for school, I asked her to not make the bed and instead get ready. I still remember the look full of hatred I got from a 10-year-old child. And what she said, next, shook me completely.

“The reason I make my bed every day after I wake up is not because I am afraid of Mommy. I do that because even if by the end of the day, I completely mess up things I will be happy that I at least made my bed. I will have one thing to thank God for. A single opportunity to thank Him will be more than enough for me, that’s what Mommy says. And it will reassure me that I didn’t completely mess it up after all!”

I was stunned while she laughed and carried on making her bed.

I remember, as a child, seeing adults complaining about everything happening in their lives. All I used to hear was the hurls of not making enough money, or too much stress at workplace; too much stress in relationships; and the daily tensions and challenges that life threw at them. I do not remember many people thanking enough for making it to another day. I do not remember anyone thanking enough for the opportunities they got. And that was what I experienced as a child. As a 20-year-old today, I see all the age groups being thankless and ungrateful. And sadly, that’s not the worst part. The worst part lies in the fact that they are completely unapologetic about it. Right now, in this moment, just stop and take a look around you. Don’t you have so many things that you got to be grateful about?

You might own a car that you never wanted to buy. You keep on thinking about the car that was your dream car and keep on complaining. You keep on comparing and then regretting. Life is so short for regrets. A life full of regrets is worthless. So let’s do a practical comparison.

Your car- four wheels	Dream car- four wheels
Your car- has sun roof	Dream car- has sun roof
Your car- has safety measures	Dream car- Obviously has brilliant safety measures
Your car- has a good music system	Dream car- Obviously wins it there too!

So, now where does the entire problem lie? The problem lies in the fact that we are a spree of comparison on a daily basis that has made us so ungrateful, so thankless and so emotionless in the entire process. As a result, we end up being the kind of unapologetic human beings we are today. Sadly, but definitely, this was not what we were required to be. Whether it’s your car or the dream car, both of them solve the same issue. I know it’s really hard to believe and implement, but just try to believe in His plans. For one single time, sit down and thank Him for all that you have. You have so much, that so many out there do not have. You have so many things that so many people out there just dream of.  You are privileged and blessed beyond the capabilities that you can even think of. So take a moment out of your busy lives and thank the power that guides your entire life. We have too less of time to stay here, let’s make the best of it.

Also I write this to YOU, to thank you for reading and believing in my words. As you read this, I complete my two years as a blogger and it has all been possible because of you, the readers who believe in what I write. The journey has been beautiful till date and there is lot more coming ahead. So just wanted to say, THANK YOU!

xG

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image source- beliefnet

The Pedestrian Crossing- Finale

 

The Finale

“I am waiting for the day my father returns back from pilgrimage. He will get me lots of gifts, my favorite Barbie Doll and new clothes. I am studying hard these days because he wants me to become a doctor. I want to fulfill all his dreams and see him smiling…”

 

After saying this, Zohra had tears in her eyes. She believes that her father has gone for Haj. In reality, her father is no more. He was killed by a group of militants. Her family made her believe that he was sleeping while he was about to be cremated. They told her that this is how one goes for a pilgrimage. She waits everyday for her father to return. But why did her family do this to her? Zohra’s mother says that they didn’t want their daughter to indulge in sorrow. A sorrow forever! A grief of losing her father!

On an everyday basis we come across such situations that make us re-think our entire existence. It makes us re-think how blessed we are. Like Zohra, can you think of losing your beloved one and then waiting for them, throughout your life? Can you sit on the doorstep everyday and wait for that loved one to return who has gone forever? But my question to you is, why do you feel that you are blessed only during such situations? Why do you go to the Almighty’s abode only in the moments of crisis?

You might be an atheist. You might not consider Him to exist. But don’t you too feel blessed when everything comes back to normalcy! You say that science rules the world. But doesn’t a voice of gratitude rise inside you? Aren’t you grateful when you get the job you desired? Aren’t you grateful for the moments of happiness? You are! I know. You are thankful to the circumstances if you are an atheist. You are thankful to Him if you are not an atheist.

I want to point out something. You self realized, loved yourself, discovered yourself and developed a beautiful perspective. You are thankful but only for the BIG things in your life. Doesn’t it seem to fail? Everything fails. Are you thankful for that red light across the street that signals you to cross the road? *part 1 reference* Are you thankful for that marking on the pedestrian crossing? Are you thankful for the good construction of roads while crossing the road? Are you thankful towards the BMW’s *part 1 reference* that make your crossing the street adventurous?

No. Most of us are not. But some of us have a gift.

Sabar and Shukraana.

( Patience and Gratitude)

It’s easy to say thank you for the big things. But what about small things? What about your hands, your eyes, your ears? What about the food you get to eat? What about the house you live in, which might be old but protects you from the wrath of the season? What about the maid who does all your chores and bears your tantrums? What about your friend who just texts you to ask if you are doing well? I might quote a thousand of questions. I can go and pray in times of adversity but what about the times full of prosperity. Are you not thankful for all the good that He has done for you? The worst part is that we start losing hopes and control when it takes too long. We tend to abuse all the creations of Almighty. We tend to end it up. We soak ourselves in the depths of negativity and failures. We become our own demons. Is it all worth it?

We mostly value something or someone after we lose it or that person. Loss brings out the value. Loss brings out the gratitude. Why can’t happy times bring gratitude? Look at your children who have grown up to be such beautiful humans. What about them? Aren’t you thankful for them? Look at your parents who care for you ,earn for you and love you beyond all measures. Did you go to them and said thank you today?

We are grateful for the things that happened because we wanted them. We are not grateful for the things that happened for our benefit. The essence of life lives in the institution of thanking even the minutest happening that makes our living easy. Do you say thank you to the waiter at the restaurant, you go daily to? Now you might just quote that it is his duty, afterall. Dear friend, what if, your single thank you could make his entire day?

If you are grateful for the adversities and have patience that better things will happen, you will make it up to your life. Just believe that whatever is happening is happening for your benefit and progress. Thank Him for all that He has done for you. Say that you Love Him and believe whatever He does for you. Thank Him every day. Trust me, your life will become the best version of itself.

 

This road that we are destined to cross, will see us go through a hell lot of downs. Times will not be good. But the truth is that courage will take you across the street. Courage is not climbing world’s highest mountain peak. Courage is not made up of war and bloodshed. Courage is not made up of combat. Courage is a quiet war that you fight daily. Courage is a dim softness that flickers even on your darkest days and reminds you that you are progressing. The Pedestrian Crossing will have all its sharp turns. But remember, that cross the pedestrian crossing  so well that it is worth watching for Him above! If you think that you are going through the worst time of your life, I just want you to remember, it is not. You are doing a mind-blowing job. I am proud of you!

I hope we meet while we cross the street together. Till then,

Mil jaaye to shukar kar,

Na mile to sabar kar.

(If you get it, be grateful for it,

If you don’t get it, just be patient, it’ll come to you.)

-G.

 

If you liked the series, comment below and let me know. If you want me to write something like this, in future too you could comment or contact me.

The Pedestrian Crossing- Part 3

Part 3

“We did create a monster out of an innocent child.”

I say this to one of my friends who has an amazing story line. She used to cry and crib on the minutest things. People used to come and slam her down on her face. She did not utter a word. She did not say anything even if they did the most wrong things in the world. One day, she cried miserably. We had a conversation and I calmed her down. A lot of conversations brought her to a realization that she had been doing it all wrong. She had been afraid of the circumstances that were already under her control. She self-realized and started loving herself. I am sometimes shocked today the way she deals with ruthlessness. She has already become a pro at it. What did it lead her to? It led her to something which is very important for every pedestrian to cross the Street.

Self- Discovery.

She discovered a whole new self. She discovered that she had potential like no one. She realized that her abilities could do wonders. But, why is self- realization important for you and me?

It may happen that you are a 30+ adult who sits on his desk every day at the job and is not contended. Situations and people forced you to do the job you never wanted to. You always cribbed and complained about the circumstances at your job. It did not give you happiness. It didn’t give you satisfaction. It just gave you the income to run your family. That’s your opinion. My opinion says that there is no one as strong as you. If you are 30 something, and you have been doing this job you might have just discovered so much about yourself! And you have been oblivious of it till now. You have developed resilience. You have worked against the circumstances. You have lived through all of it. You have dealt with BMW’s aka circumstances (Part 1 reference) just like Hulk fights in the Marvel movies. Didn’t you?

But there is more to it. You need to love yourself, to discover yourself. You might be an 18 something human being figuring out their career. You are not happy with what you are doing. You are confused of everything that’s going on in your life. Aren’t you? But don’t you think it’s important to wander to find ourselves? The true selves, our true potentials are hidden. We have to be the true wanderers to figure it out. This phase of life teaches you almost every day. And by every day I mean, BMW’s crushing you every day. EVERY DAY. You have always lived on your own terms. And trust me, if you are lost now, you’ll find the right direction really soon! After all, not all those you wander are lost.

Self discovery makes you believe in the fact that you can achieve anything in this world. It brings home the fact that we are beyond our own capabilities. It ushers a new ray of hope. Remember your childhood days. Your dad used to hold your cycle from the back so that you did not fall. He used to leave it and then it was YOU who used to ride the cycle. You knew your dad was having your back. But who did the wonders actually? It was you. You believed. You discovered. You won.

The same goes with your life. It’s not always important that things go your way. Life does not give you, what you want. It gives you what is the best for you. You can’t cross the pedestrian crossing without realizing that those BMW’s aka circumstances exist to make your journey a beautiful one.

Till then, relish in what you have. Let go what pulls you back.

-G.

To be continued.

Image source- Google Images

Excerpt from the Diary – fear of relationships

Dear Diary,

It’s been really long since the last time we had a conversation. I know you missed me bad but trust me; I didn’t miss you any less. A lot of things, with capital T, have happened in this time duration. Things that have made me re-think the entire existence of my life. No, no I am not in a philosophical mood today but just that you know there comes a time when you reconsider the choices you made. You reconsider the people you have in your life. You reconsider every bit of it. I too had to take the swim. And trust me, it felt like I had to swim across an entire ocean. All of this happened when I came face to face with a reality. A harsh reality. But reality is harsh 99.9% times, isn’t it? It hits you hard in the face with that punch leaving an impression on your face.

It happened when I see almost everyone around me in what they proudly call a happy place. Not that I am in a miserable place. I feel I am the luckiest. I have an amazing set of people who bear me after all my tantrums which is the sweetest thing they can do for me. Most of my friends have their “sweeties”, “shonas” and “babes”. Not that I am envious. I am super glad for them.  But then I realize that hey, this is me, a douche bag who has never ever had something of this kind. You know This Kind.  A douche bag who loves pizza and is kind of obsessed with margarita (extra cheese, please. Thanks). I could find myself in a situation where people had been judging me and expecting me to just find someone. Precisely, anyone. And I just found myself in a hurricane where most of my ‘happy place friends’ wanted me to be in a relationship just for the sake of it. And to be really very honest, I’d started desiring what I feared the most. And I believe that’s where the trouble began. That damned moment. I was on a war with my own self. What could be worse!

Gamophobia.

That’s what they call it. The fear of relationships and marriage. It’s not that extreme though, thankfully. Something that truly irked me was the fact that whosoever got to know about my fear, just thought that I Am Not For This Kind, you know. They wanted me to instead believe that I wasn’t beautiful enough; I wasn’t slender enough, not worth it. And to top it with cherry, I wasn’t just made for commitment. Yet again by the ‘happy place friends’. Yet another commandment. Oh well, if commitment is posting pictures with your person all over the social media or going on unprecedented dates and then brag about it or spoiling each other with those extreme gift choices, I am really sorry then. My parents showed me what commitment really is.

 Commitment is being there. Just being there, in silence and in noise, in peace and in war, in times of happiness and times of hardships. Being there for the person who you are! Standing strong together and saying with that wide smile,” You got my back,buddy.”

 And today what I see around me is a swamp, obviously with a lot of tadpoles (in pairs of course) who are not just in love but in love with the idea of being in love.

They’d always wanted to do what adults did and they are doing it triumphantly. They are nailing it. They are being experts at lying to themselves. Flaunting every bit of their relationships or marriages in this outer world. They may not have their own happy space between them but they definitely behold it for the entire world to admire with that oomph.

#RelationshipGoals

But is it all for real?

It never was. It never will be. Reality, yet again, my friend.

To me, I don’t see anyone in this world who’ll just be there. Be there not for your reputation, not for your beauty, or for your wealth. No one would be there for me just because of who I am. I don’t wish to challenge the accolades in the name of love. It is a feeling that’s hard to conquer and harder to sustain. I truly respect it from the bottom of my heart. Sadly, I am phobic to these relationships and marriages made just for the sake of Instagram likes. I could just never calculate wisely when all of this happening around me, thrashed me into this sea of fear. I never wanted to be this. I don’t hate myself for being what I am but somewhere definitely the rules of 21st century love have blown me off. We were much better than this. We used to be loving humans. And what we have remained today is just Heartless-WantToBeFamous-Humans.

And you know what Diary, what makes me pity this generation a little more is their incompetency to understand what they have done to themselves.

Blunder. Sheer Blunder.

Nevertheless, I know I’ll get out of all of this and be sane enough to understand that desires can really prick you bad. Also, not to forget, starting with college year two. Let’s see what’s in there for me. Night for today.

 G.

Dear Failed Human / The Letters from Heart (As you might assume yourself)

My Dear Defeated Human Being,

(As you might assume yourself to be)

Hi.

When we used to be kids, we used to endure some injuries. We have had fond memories of all the bruises, the appointments with doctor for check up, the medicines and that added scolding by our beloved parents. Supposedly, you had an injury on your knee. Do you remember what used to be your reaction?

YOU NEVER CARED. YOU NEVER BOTHERED.

You played and did everything what you wished to do. A multiple chiding by our parents never had an impact on us. All we were bothered about was we didn’t miss our evening time in the park.

I know. I know. You are considering me foolish by this time. But I guarantee you might just get surprised to know that this is your life.

Life comes and hits you hard on your knee. It is its nature to injure you. But what do we do as adults now? We just concentrate on that single injury on our knee. What about your entire body? What about your life? The day you start concentrating only on that single injury on your knee, you assume yourself to be a loser. You assume that you have lost the battle of your life. But what about that evening time in the park! What about those rides and that ice cream break with those scoops of ice cream overloaded in that small cup?

In the nutshell, the day you just focus on what you don’t have in life, you believe yourself to be a failure. But hey! That’s not you. It’s your thinking that creates you a failure in reality. Why can’t you relish on the bounties of this beautiful stage? But you know what; there is something you definitely do all the time. You crib. You cry. You crave for more. And that my friend, the feeling of lack of the things you want from life leads you to what in simple term you call failure. There is absolutely no one who can proclaim that you are failure. You might be fighting the wars that no one might know about. You might be going through a difficult stage in your life. But it’s the see-saw ride you used to take in the community park. It’s your life. You go up and then you come down. And just ask yourself, till the time you don’t know how it feels to be at a low in your life, how you would even relish success in your life!

The most important question arises how you define failure. Is a broken relationship a failure? Is a business deal fall out a failure? Is a health issue a failure? It is you who has to decide all of it. Only and only, You. Whatever happens, happens for a reason. You cannot imagine all situations and all the people in your life to go according to you. You cannot guide the sun to rise at 10 because that’s the time for you to wake up. That is sheer stupidity. First of all, get away with this fact that there exists a concept called failure. No one in his/her life is a failure. If things aren’t turning the way you wanted them to be, just give some more time. Have you ever tried to eat uncooked vegetables? They taste way too different and are not good for your health. That’s what applies for situations in your life. You cannot expect to eat the uncooked vegetables. God is the best chef. And trust me, when I say that He is cooking the best dish for you at the moment. All He wants from you is to be patient and not have uncooked vegetables. Because just like your mother knows that uncooked vegetables are not good for your health, in a same way, uncooked circumstances aren’t good for you. Another reason that might have led you to think that you are a failure ( stop thinking that right now please), because you expect a lot and compare your life situations with other people who you know.

Just one question to you dear traveler of this world, is your life situation similar to the people you compare yourself with! Both of us know the answer. Then why did you award yourself with the “Failure Award”? Because all you kept seeing is that another customer on some other table was served his dish before you. But did you care to see that your orders were way too different. You did not. You crib. You cry.

Life will give you lemons. It is you who has to decide whether you will make lemonade out of it or use the lemon juice for your salad. (I just realized too many food examples. Well sorry for that though!)

All you have to believe from today is that your dish is about to be served. Its plating is way too exquisite that it’s taking just a bit longer. And trust me.

Believe. In. Yourself.

If some plans didn’t work as you wanted them to work, its okay! It’s not the end of the world. You are precious, realize that. There are so many people out there who might not be able to read this article. You are lucky that you are educated. A mere heartbreak or a financial loss DOES NOT in any way classifies you as a failure. It is you, yourself who does that. Start valuing yourself.

 

Yours Lovingly,

A girl who knows you are not a failure.

 

 

The 50 Memories

                                     

It is finally the day.  It’s the day when I get to spend the entire day with my greatest supporter, my partner in crime, my friend, my best critic, my lifeline.

Ma.

Although, we have been living in the same city since so many years I opted to shift in my lone apartment near my workplace. Ma revolted in the beginning but later on realized that it’s important for my career advancement.

 It’s Ma’s birthday today. She is turning 50. Every year I go to her place and remember the good old times we have had spent together. But I ought to make this birthday extraordinary. After all, my girl is turning 50.

I have been on this special assignment since so many days. I have collected our best 50 moments together in pictures which I will gift her today. “She will be so happy!” Before leaving my place I sat down for a moment. I don’t know why but I started looking at the pictures. No one would ever have such a mother.

I remember how she supported me in all my decisions. It was Ma who used to fight with Papa for all my wishes and ambitions. I never had any group of friends during my school life. After the school got over, I used to rush back to home to chat with Ma. We used to go for movies, shopping and those amazing lunch dates at our favourite restaurant. She is definitely the best! I still remember how she cuddled me in her arms when I wrote an essay on ‘My Super Hero’ and described Ma as the one. I remember how she had tears rolling down her cheek and that big adorable smile when she first saw me speaking on the stage. I remember how she used to make those braids early in the morning and make me ready for the school. I remember how she used to make those chutney and pickles; I had been a fan of. Those delicacies, she used to prepare on every Sunday was what we awaited the most. She kept on working like a machine 24*7 just to see us happy. I remember how I used to rebel against my own grand mother when she used to say anything to my mother. However, Ma disliked my rebellious attitude at times. But she also agreed that it is important for survival. I used to stand with her in the kitchen and talk to her till the time she used to make food for all.  It surprised me that she never got irritated. It was actually Ma who had held my little fingers and had taught me to walk. People used to call us look-alike. ‘The Twin Mother Daughter’, the prestigious tag our family had presented us. I remember how we used to fight on petty things. And then laugh hard the next moment. I could discuss my deepest secrets with her. It was Ma who motivated me spiritually.

Oh! I feel so nostalgic today.

And then, I took the decision of leaving home.

That was the day, things started changing. I wanted to live with my parents but my career was calling me. I was bewildered for quite some time. Until, one day Ma gave up and receded in my decision. I know it must have been a tough call. But as always, Ma managed it in an elegant manner.

I remember how she herself helped me in the interior decor of the house. She used all my favourite colours, my favourite patterns. Moreover, she got a temple constructed near the main entrance. I don’t know how she actually managed to do all that so efficiently and effectively.

I looked at those 50 pictures. They were not mere pictures, they were memories. Memories we had created together. Ma and me.

Suddenly my phone rang.

It was my Papa. “ Beta when are you coming. Please come as soon as possible we are waiting for you.”

Was it actually the voice of Papa?

Something irked me.

I could feel a certain type of urgency in his voice.

I collected all the paraphernalia and left for Ma’s place.

As soon as I reached home, I could see a lot of people near my flat. I thought it might have been due to the busy day. I reached my apartment. I could see people crying at their loudest pitches. This made me tense. I pushed everyone aside and ran straight inside the place.

MA.

I shouted at my loudest pitch.

She was before me but she was not with me.

My Ma had left me!

My younger brother was sitting near her and crying. My dad just kept on looking towards her silently. My relatives tried to handle me. And, Ma! She laid down there in peace with the same subtleness and serenity she had throughout her life.

“Ma. How could you do this? It’s your birthday today. Ma just get up once. I promise I will come back and stay with you. Ma… Get up!! Mamma please get up. Please. Ma I have got your gifts. Look at them. Aren’t they beautiful? Get up Ma. Why are you not responding? I will get angry with you. Get up quick. Ma…”

I had been all teary eyed. I had been shouting and weeping.

Ma wasn’t responding.

I lost my senses.

Dad informed me that she had a heart attack and could not withstand the same.

I sat near her body till the time of cremation. I had been looking at ma’s face. I knew nothing of what had been going around me. I felt as if someone snatched my whole world from me. What is the existence of a child without his mother? I used to tell Ma, “In case something happens to you, I won’t be able to live.” Ma simply used to smile. This lady had been working throughout her life just for the happiness of her family. She never asked for any remuneration. She only wanted love and care. It was the last time I had been seeing Ma before me. From now on, those 50 pictures will become my support system.

After the cremation in the evening, I took those pictures, went into Ma’s room and cried. I cried hoping she could come back and cuddle me in her arms.

But she did not!

 The fact is, you never can’t value what your parents have done for you! Respect that. Love them, care for them. One day do not see yourself cribbing over the time you lost which you could have spent with your parents.